Today's run went well, but only after I came to the realization that I'm drifting away from the Couch-to-5k program. I didn't get in a third run last week at all. And my two runs were nowhere near the "run for 25 minutes" I was supposed to be doing.

I was feeling guilty about that today, about not having the time, ability, initiative, whatever to stick with the program. But then, as I was running, I thought "Hey, at least I'm improving." Today I ran for 18 minutes, then walked for five, and then ran for six more.

And you know what? I think I should feel pretty awesome about that. It shows that I've really come a long way in the past nine weeks. Even in the past three weeks. When I reached the 12-minute mark today, I thought "Two months ago I wouldn't have been able to do this at all." And then I kept running for six more minutes. And it felt pretty good.

My run yesterday went better...much better than Tuesday's run, and better than I anticipated it would go. I still had to walk midway through, but I ran the total time/distance. I ended up running for 14 minutes, walking for five, and running for nine.

I realize that's short of the total running time of 25 minutes, but I am such a speed racer that I am running a mile (10 laps on the track) in about nine and a half minutes, so I am getting the right distance if not the right time.

week 7, plus update

Just quickly since I have approximately a billion papers to grade this evening (okay, twenty)...I've been neglecting updating here lately for a couple of reasons. First, because of the aforementioned papers. I'm stressed out and bogged down with my teaching work plus grad school applications. This stress has also fed the second problem, which is my inability to find time to run. I ran on Sunday night instead of my usual Saturday morning run, and I only had about twenty minutes so I cut my run short. Instead of the twenty-minute run I ran for about fifteen minutes total. And yesterday I just wasn't feeling too great, plus my sports bra (my one decent one) was in the wash, so I skipped the run. I ran today instead and it was the opposite of good. Very, very bad. Instead of one straight 25 minute run, I ran for ten minutes, walked for five, and ran for eight before stopping because I was pretty sure I was about to barf over the edge of the track onto the 18-year-olds on the elliptical trainers. Real, hard-core nausea that I haven't felt since being pregnant. NO I'M NOT PREGNANT, fyi.

So, to recap: poopy. Weight today: 134.4.

Quick note to say that yesterday's run was TOTALLY AWESOME. Seriously. Two ten-minute (or one mile) runs with a three-minute walk between. I felt great. I didn't have to stop or anything. My friend Kristen, who was on a treadmill downstairs, said I looked great, like a real runner. Imagine, me! A REAL RUNNER!

Week six, we meet at last.

I felt different going into today's run. For the first time, I felt confident and assured that I would make it through the run. For one, it was a smaller, staggered run. After two two-mile runs rounding out last week, I knew this one wouldn't give me problems. And I was right! I felt good, but tired, at the end.

Charlotte's tugging at my leg to help her put her sock on her hand (like a puppet), so I should go.

Weight today: 135.2. Holding steady. At least the half pizza I ate Sunday night didn't cause any gain! Pizza....mmmm...hadn't had it in 6 weeks. It tasted fabulous.

Week five (finally) over

I did my last run for the doubled week five yesterday. Because it was such a beautiful day, and since I didn't want to take the extra time to drive onto campus, I ran on the bike path.

It was a very pleasant run, which surprised me. I still didn't make it all the way through the twenty minutes without a walk, but I still only walked for a minute, and I felt really good all the way through.

It'll be nice to start a new week this coming week and feel like I'm making progress toward my 5k-by-my-30th goal.

Two miles!

Break out the champagne! Today I ran two miles! Today I ran two miles (almost) nonstop!

What's that little parenthetical aside, you ask? Whither the "(almost)?"

Well, I didn't quite make it through without a break.

Today's run was twenty minutes. Of running. That's it. Warm up, run for twenty minutes/two miles, cool down. To my credit, I made it to seven minutes before I checked my watch. I made it to fourteen minutes before I had to walk. And I only walked for a minute before I started up again and finished the last six minutes.

I was counting my laps in my head as I went, and I found out that I actually hit two miles at around nineteen minutes. But kept going in case I was wrong and had lost count.

It feels great to have done it. It doesn't feel as great to have to do it again on Saturday.

Real Beauty

Sometimes I worry about having a daughter, a little girl who potentially will have to face all the crap regarding body image and size and weight and beauty standards that I did, but tenfold due to the even greater prevalence of media today. This short from Dove made me cry, because it encapsulates that.

"Onslaught"

"Daughters"

bleargh.

When I run, I obviously take note of how I feel during the run. Do I see especially tired? Am I dragging my feet? Do I have pains in my sides? Do I feel awesome and tireless? Are any particular muscles sorer than usual?

Some runs are hard. Today was one of them. I felt tired. I was really dragging, running much more slowly than usual. I felt like I couldn't really catch my breath well, particularly toward the end of the run.

When I have a day like that, I try to think about what might be the culprit. Not enough water? Not enough to eat? Too much to eat? Not enough sleep?

One thing I've tried to balance is eating and drinking before a run. I used to err on the side of eating lightly, thinking too much food would result in the "Scott Syndrome"*. But I found that I really needed more food, and more fuel. So I try to eat well (healthy stuff, but still enough) on run days. I also try to really start water-loading the night before, but not too much right before running, because I don't particularly want to wet my pants. This is a genuine concern having had a baby. And I don't think they make Depends for runners.

I don't know why today's run was so sucky. It wasn't a new run--it was a repeat of Saturday's. I ate well. I drank enough water. But I felt like crap and could hardly finish the second round of eight minutes.

I did finish, though.

Another issue: my weight today was 135.6. Last week, you might have noticed, I didn't post my weight. That's because I was back up to 137. I felt bad about that...but again, I have no idea why it happened. I think I had a few big, off-the-plan meals. But I was also very active last week. I was sick with a vicious cold...perhaps that's it.

I'm curious and a bit nervous to see how Thursday's run of 20 minutes straight goes.

week five continues

Yesterday I ran the second day of week five, which I will do again on Tuesday. And it went great! The run consisted of the normal five-minute warm-up walk, then eight minutes of running, another five-minute walk, and another eight-minute run. And that's it! I was intimidated at first by the eight minutes of running, but I found that after four or five minutes, a few more hardly matter. And strangely running only twice felt like less running somehow, even though I did a mile and a half total.

I think I might attribute my energy to the poffertjes I ate for breakfast. Yum.

Also, I have to recommend the book I'm reading right now: Real Food: What to Eat and Why, by Nina Planck. I hope to go into more detail after I finish the book, but I can honestly say it's transforming the way I think about food.

Yesterday's run went better than I expected, considering all my bodily fluids were trying to stage an escape through my nose. I made it all the way through all three five-minute runs. Woo!

week five

I did the first run for week five today. Three five-minute runs, with three-minute walks in-between. It went...okay, I guess. I'm coming down with a cold so I didn't feel awesome. In fact, I decided after the run that I was going to repeat this week. So I'll do the day one run again on Thursday, and the day two run will be Saturday and next Tuesday. So that means I won't have to do the twenty minute (ARGH!) run until next week. Postponing the inevitable? Perhaps. But I think it also might be guaranteeing that I make it through instead of feeling overwhelmed and sucky and just quitting.